How to Know When an INTJ Misses You (and When They Don’t)
INTJs have a reputation for being a little hard to read, and potentially harder to date. If you’re involved with an INTJ and trying to understand what’s going on with them, we’ve compiled seven signs they actually miss you, and six signs they’re done and have moved on.
Do INTJs miss people?
INTJs, like all human beings, are capable of missing people. But given their unique quirks, it’s easy to see why people might wonder if they can. INTJs are notorious for being independent, analytical, and private people. So when they do miss someone, they might not be obvious about it.
7 Things INTJs Do When They Miss You:
If you’re wondering if an INTJ in your life is missing you, here are some ways they might express their feelings (if they don’t just tell you outright, which is also a possibility).
1. They’ll start texting or calling you more often
If an INTJ suddenly starts texting or calling you more often, it’s a pretty good sign that they miss you. INTJs are not the type of people to reach out unnecessarily, so if they’re reaching out to you more frequently, it means they value your company and want to stay in touch.
2. They’ll go out of their way to see you
INTJs are not big on socializing, so if they make an effort to see you, it means they really miss your company. Keep in mind that INTJs really value their alone time. Giving up that space to spend time with you is a big deal for them.
3. They’ll prioritize spending time with you
If an INTJ starts prioritizing plans with you, it’s a good sign that they miss you. Whether they’re asking you to hang out, grabbing dinner together, or watching a movie at their place, it’s clear that they wish they could spend more time with you. INTJs’ love language involves spending quality time with people, which is a big deal as they are generally fine going solo. So take it as the highest compliment.
4. They’ll become more emotionally available
INTJs are typically not very open about their feelings and emotions. When they miss someone, they might start sharing more personal thoughts and feelings in an attempt to feel closer to that person. If you notice an INTJ opening up to you more, it’s a sure sign that they miss you or that they’re trying to take their friendship or romantic relationship with you to a deeper level.
5. They’ll get nostalgic
INTJs are analytical people who often live in their heads. When they’re missing someone, they might start looking back on their past memories with that person. They might even start daydreaming about the future and imagining what it would be like to be with that person again.
The darker side of that equation is rumination. When INTJs miss someone they can’t reconnect with, it might drive them to more destructive behaviors like overanalyzing old texts or emails or replaying conversations and thinking of ways they could’ve changed the outcome.
6. They’ll find excuses to see you in person
Finally, if an INTJ is missing you and looking for ways to spend time with you, they’ll find excuses to see you in person. INTJs are usually direct people, but if they’re unsure about whether that door is still open, they’ll find ways to be around socially (not in a creepy, stalker way).
This could mean bringing work to your house, asking for a ride somewhere, or even just stopping by your place on the way home from work.
7. They’ll be more affectionate
INTJs aren’t typically super affectionate with people they care about. But when they miss someone, they might start showing more signs of affection and appreciation. This could come in the form of hugging, kissing, or even just saying “I love you” a bit more often than usual.
If you notice these signs from an INTJ that you care about, it’s a clear sign that they miss you and want to maintain your connection.
6 Signs an INTJ No Longer Misses You
By contrast, here are some signs that an INTJ no longer misses you:
1. They’ll stop texting or calling you as often
If an INTJ suddenly starts texting or calling you less frequently, it could be a sign that they’ve lost interest in maintaining your connection. It’s not always the case, but if you notice this pattern, there’s a good chance that they’ve simply moved on.
2. They’ll get distracted when you’re around
If an INTJ doesn’t miss you, they might start getting distracted or uncomfortable when you’re around. This can be seen in fidgeting and not giving you their full attention. It could also mean that they don’t want to get too close in case they accidentally start showing affection.
3. They’ll have less patience for you
INTJs are logically driven people who are always thinking about efficiency and squeezing the most out of every moment. (It’s a big INTJ blind spot.) If your presence is getting in the way of their productivity, it could mean that they’ve lost interest in maintaining a relationship with you.
4. They’ll make less of an effort to see you
As we mentioned before, INTJs are usually direct people who will make an effort to see you if they want to spend time with you. If they stop making those efforts, it’s a sign that they don’t miss you as much as they used to.
5. They’ll start being more critical of you
INTJs are usually pretty easygoing and forgiving people. But if they no longer miss you, they might start being more critical and judgmental of your actions. This could come in the form of nitpicking or even outright criticism.
6. They’ll withdraw emotionally
Finally, if an INTJ is no longer interested in you, they might start withdrawing emotionally. This could manifest as being less communicative, less affectionate, or even just seeming distant and cold.
FAQs About When INTJs Miss You
How do INTJs act when hurt?
INTJs are usually pretty good at hiding their hurt feelings. But if you pay attention, you might notice that they start to withdraw emotionally or become more critical of you. They might also start fidgeting and appearing uncomfortable when around you.
Do INTJs move on quickly?
That depends on the situation. If an INTJ has been hurt or betrayed, they might dwell a bit and try to intellectualize what went wrong. They don’t like not understanding things, and getting hurt by someone out of the blue can be particularly frustrating for them.
On the other hand, if they lose interest, expect INTJs to move on quickly. They see no point in wasting emotional energy where it’s not needed. This makes them come across as cold, especially if you’re on the receiving end. For them, it’s more about practicality.
How do you make an INTJ feel loved?
INTJs typically appreciate quality time, thoughtful gifts, and acts of service. They like when you make an effort to understand them and their unique way of seeing the world. They also respond well to physical touch, although they might not always show it.
How do you make INTJs fall for you?
It’s difficult to say exactly since every INTJ is different. But the best way to make any INTJ fall for you is simply by being your authentic self and showing them that you appreciate who they are as well. This means being patient and spending time getting to know them, rather than trying to manipulate or change them.
In general, INTJs respond well to affection, quality time, and intellectual stimulation.
So be sure to show them that you value these things in your relationship with them. And remember that it’s always a good idea to listen to what they have to say, as this is one of the ways that INTJs show their love and care for others.
How do INTJs end a relationship?
In general, INTJs end relationships when they feel like the other person is no longer a good match for them. This could be because of incompatibility or a betrayal on their partner’s part. INTJs also try not to linger in unhealthy relationships since they’re more focused on efficiency and getting things done. So if an INTJ decides that a relationship is no longer working for them, you can expect them to be direct about it so both parties can move on as quickly as possible.
What is an INTJ love language?
The INTJ love language is typically quality time. This means that they prefer to spend their time with people who they care about, rather than receiving gifts or words of affirmation. They also appreciate when their partners make an effort to understand them and their unique way of seeing the world.
Do INTJs miss their exes?
It depends on the circumstances. If an INTJ still has feelings or unresolved issues with their ex, they might continue to think about them from time to time. However, if they have no emotional connection to their former partners, there’s a good chance that an INTJ will eventually let go of those memories and move on without much thought.
Are INTJs clingy?
No, INTJs are not clingy. They typically prefer to give their partners space and don’t like to be suffocated by too much togetherness. This is because they need time to recharge their batteries and feel more comfortable in their own company. So if you’re dating an INTJ, don’t be offended if they occasionally need some time alone. They’re simply trying to take care of their emotional needs and keep the relationship balanced.
Do INTJs make the first move?
It depends on the situation. INTJs are usually pretty confident people, so they might make the first move in some situations. However, they also like to take their time and assess a situation before acting, so they might not always be the ones to initiate things. If you’re interested in an INTJ, it’s always a good idea to make your feelings known and give them the opportunity to respond in their own time.
Are INTJs possessive?
No, INTJs are not usually possessive. They understand that everyone is an individual with their own needs and desires, so they’re typically pretty relaxed when it comes to jealousy and ownership. It’s worth noting that they don’t find jealousy and possessiveness an attractive quality in a mate, so if this is you, an INTJ partner is not the best match.
What do INTJs look for in a partner?
INTJs are attracted to people they can have a deep connection with. They want someone who can keep up with their intellectually stimulating conversations, and who they can rely on to be there for them when they need it. Ultimately, INTJs are looking for a lifetime partner with whom they can build a strong and meaningful relationship.
Bottom Line on When an INTJ Misses You
INTJs are not known for being emotionally showy people, but the good news is that they are fairly direct with their intentions and feelings. So if an INTJ misses you and they don’t see any barriers to having you in their life, you’ll know about it because they’ll make an effort. On the flip side, if you think they’ve moved on, you’re probably right. Once an INTJ stops putting in the effort, it’s a strong sign they’re done.
Are you an INTJ? Tell us your thoughts!