When an INFJ Hates You: How to Spot the Signs and Save Yourself

So, you’ve noticed that your INFJ friend or partner is acting a bit off lately. Maybe they’re giving you the cold shoulder, or perhaps they’re being sarcastic and biting in their remarks. Whatever the case, it’s clear that something is up, and you suspect that they might be angry with you.

But why? What could you have possibly done to upset this usually empathetic and caring personality type?

Well, the truth is that INFJs can be difficult to read when they’re upset, and their anger can manifest in a variety of ways. It’s not always easy to tell when an INFJ is angry with you, and even if you do figure it out, it can be hard to know what to do about it.

In this article, we’ll take a closer look at INFJ rage and explore some of the reasons why an INFJ might hate you. Whether you’re an INFJ yourself or you’re simply trying to understand this complex personality type better, this article is for you.

The INFJ Cold Shoulder

When an INFJ hates you, it can be difficult to tell. They are masters of hiding their true feelings and putting on a polite facade. However, one of the most obvious signs that an INFJ dislikes you is the cold shoulder.

In a perfect world, we’d all be able to verbalize our feelings and be direct with people (or maybe that’s just the INTJ in me speaking), but we don’t live in that world and sometimes we have to suss out the way a person feels through vibes.

And the ultimate vibe check? Cold shoulder.

The Silent Treatment

If an INFJ is giving you the silent treatment, it’s a clear sign that they don’t want to be around you. They may refuse to talk to you or completely ignore your presence. This can be confusing and frustrating, especially if you’re not sure what you’ve done wrong.

But, it’s also super obvious. If you feel like the INFJ in your life has fallen off and isn’t talking to you anymore, you’re probably right. There’s a conflict there.

Relatedly, if you’ve just met an INFJ and they don’t have anything to say to you, they’re not exactly shy. They probably just don’t like you.

The Death Stare

Another way an INFJ may show their dislike is through the death stare (similar to their not-so-similar cousin the INTJ stare).

If you catch an INFJ glaring at you, it’s a sign that they are not happy with you. Which, that may sound obvious, but INFJs are particularly skilled at this one.

Their death stares can be intense and uncomfortable, leaving you feeling like you’ve done something terribly wrong.

An angry INFJ woman scowls at someone she hates
When an INFJ Hates You: Know The Signs

How To Handle It:

So, what should you do if you find yourself on the receiving end of the INFJ cold shoulder, silent treatment, or death stare? The best thing you can do is respect their boundaries and give them space.

Don’t try to force a conversation or make them interact with you if they don’t want to. Instead, focus on improving your behavior and showing them that you’re worthy of their trust and respect.

Remember, INFJs are highly intuitive and can detect insincerity from a mile away. If you’re genuine and sincere in your efforts to make amends, they may eventually soften up and give you another chance. But in the meantime, give them the space they need and be patient.

For more on all the passive-aggressive games INFJs might play when they’re mad, check out this video:

Signs An INFJ Hates You (Or Is Really, Really Mad)

INFJs are known for their empathic and caring nature, but if they dislike someone, they can become distant and cold. Here are some signs that an INFJ may hate you:

1. They Stop Sharing Their Thoughts

INFJs are known for their deep insights and their willingness to share them with others. If they suddenly stop sharing their thoughts with you, it could be a sign that they don’t like you.

INFJs can be very private, but they usually share their thoughts with people they trust. If they stop doing that with you, it’s a clear sign that they don’t trust you anymore.

2. They Avoid You

One of the most obvious signs an INFJ hates you is avoidance. If they refuse to be around you or walk away the moment they see you, that’s a clear sign that they don’t want to be near you. (Again, super obvious!)

Would it be nice if they could verbalize their feelings directly? Sure. But these are the cards you’ve been dealt.

INFJs are highly attuned to the emotional wavelengths of the atmosphere they’re in. They can easily detect other people’s moods, emotions, and needs. If they sense negativity or hostility from you, they will avoid you at all costs.

The same is true if your vibe produces those feelings in them. They will avoid you like the plague, deserved or not.

3. They Hit You With The INFJ “Door Slam”

INFJs are notorious for what’s called the “INFJ Door Slam”. This happens when an INFJ feels that a relationship is harmful to their well-being, and as a last resort, they might cut off contact altogether. If they feel like the situation with you is a lost cause, they may cut you off suddenly and go no-contact out of a strong desire for self-preservation.

If you notice these signs, it’s best to approach the INFJ and ask them if everything’s okay. They may not want to talk about it, but at least you’ll know where you stand.

If they don’t want to talk, don’t push it. INFJs need time and space to process their feelings, and they may come around eventually. In the meantime, respect their boundaries and give them the space they need.

Surviving an INFJ’s Wrath

When an INFJ hates you (or you think they do), it can feel like the world is ending. But don’t worry, there are ways to survive their wrath. Here are two tips to help you navigate the storm:

Apologize Sincerely

If you’ve done something to upset an INFJ, the best thing you can do is apologize sincerely. Don’t just say sorry to get out of trouble.

INFJs can see right through that. (Also, it’s a bad look!)

Instead, think about what you did wrong and why it upset them. Then, apologize for your actions and ask what you can do to make it right.

Give Them Space

Again, INFJs need time to process their emotions. If they’re angry with you, don’t try to force them to talk about it right away. Give them space to cool down and think things through. This doesn’t mean you should ignore them completely. Let them know you’re there for them when they’re ready to talk.

Is that going to be frustrating for you? Probably! It’s anxiety-inducing waiting for someone to be ready to forgive you, especially when you care a lot. But this is how INFJs operate.

Remember, INFJs are sensitive and emotional people. They may need more time than others to process their feelings. Be patient and understanding, and they’ll appreciate it.


Remember, INFJs are sensitive and empathetic individuals who value harmony in their relationships. If you find yourself on the receiving end of an INFJ’s cold shoulder or sarcasm, it might be time to reflect on your behavior and consider how you can improve your relationship with them.

Here are a few key takeaways to keep in mind:

  • INFJs can be difficult to read, but their behavior will be in opposition to how they normally act when they dislike someone.
  • INFJs value emotional support and a sense of approval from their loved ones, so if they feel shut down or combative, they will likely close themselves off from that person.
  • INFJs are generally warm people who like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but they will show no empathy towards those who are rude, judgmental, and dishonest.
  • INFJs are incredibly rare, so if you have an INFJ in your life, consider yourself lucky! They have a lot to offer in terms of creativity, kindness, and compassion.

So, if you find yourself in a situation where an INFJ dislikes you, don’t take it personally. Instead, try to understand their perspective and work towards a resolution. Who knows, you might just end up with a lifelong friend in the process!

Frequently Asked Questions

What does it feel like to be on the receiving end of an INFJ’s revenge?

You definitely do not want to be on the receiving end of an INFJ’s revenge! They might not lash out at you directly, but they can make your life a living hell with their passive-aggressive behavior. They might give you the silent treatment, make snide remarks, or even spread rumors about you. You’ll feel like you’re walking on eggshells around them, and you’ll be constantly wondering what you did wrong.

How can you tell if an INFJ is angry with you?

INFJs are masters of hiding their emotions, so it can be tough to tell if they’re angry with you. However, if you notice that they’re being unusually quiet or distant, it might be a sign that something’s up. They might also give you short, curt answers or avoid eye contact with you. If you’re not sure, it’s always best to ask them directly.

What are some signs that an INFJ has stopped caring about you?

If an INFJ has stopped caring about you, they might stop initiating conversations or making plans with you. They might also seem disinterested or distracted when you’re talking to them. They might not respond to your messages or calls as quickly as they used to. Basically, they’ll give you the cold shoulder and make it clear that they’re not interested in spending time with you.

How do INFJs typically react when they feel disrespected?

INFJs value harmony and respect, so if they feel disrespected, they might withdraw or become distant. They might also become passive-aggressive or sarcastic in their interactions with you. They might avoid confrontation, but if pushed too far, they can become quite assertive and stand up for themselves.

What happens when you push an INFJ too far?

If you push an INFJ too far, they might explode with anger or shut down completely. They might become emotional and start crying or yelling, or they might retreat into their own world and refuse to engage with you. Either way, you’ll probably end up regretting it.

How can you mend a relationship with an INFJ after hurting them?

If you’ve hurt an INFJ, the best thing you can do is apologize sincerely and take responsibility for your actions. INFJs appreciate honesty and authenticity, so don’t try to make excuses or downplay what you did. Show them that you understand why they’re upset and that you’re committed to making things right. Be patient and give them space if they need it, but also be persistent in showing them that you care.

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