INTJ Love Interests: Who Is The Best Match?

INTJs have unique habits and traits that can make looking for a love a challenge. The good news is they’re perfectly fine with that dynamic. When it comes to matters of the heart, an INTJ best match is going to have to share their love of learning and be understanding of their unique approach to life. Let’s explore how INTJs function in relationships and who makes a great match.

The INTJ Approach to Dating and Falling in Love

First and foremost, INTJs are looking for an intellectual connection. They don’t like small talk and aren’t comfortable with the usual light-hearted getting-to-know-you chats that come with dating. They like to dive right into deeper level conversations and connections which can be a little off-putting to those who aren’t accustomed to this straightforward approach.

The good news is you’ll always know where you stand with them. INTJs do not like to play emotional games and since they’re perfectly happy being alone, dating isn’t a priority for them. So if you do find yourself the object of an INTJs affection, consider it a compliment. They are very picky when it comes to choosing their partners and only pursue meaningful relationships. 

That being said, don’t expect your INTJ partner to be overly romantic or spontaneous. They like schedules and predictability. Even if they don’t seem in touch with their emotional side, rest assured they are as loyal as they come. INTJs are truly devoted partners.

Another bonus is that INTJs will invest in their romantic partners by helping them in any way they can. INTJs are very intellectual, hard-working people and they love to put those skills to use to help friends and loved ones. Helping is their love language.

INTJ Best Match in the Dating World

More than anything, INTJs are looking for a deep, intellectual connection with a potential partner. Notice I said “intellectual.” They are notoriously bad at expressing, relating to, and connecting with emotions, both their own and others.

An INTJ best match is someone who understands and accepts that about them. It’s not that INTJs are incapable of forming a meaningful, emotional connection. They’re just very particular about who they let into their orbit.

This means emotionally needy prospects won’t work out. INTJs have a difficult time relating to people who are driven by emotions. Instead, they seek intellectual stimulation.

They have a strong thirst for knowledge and want the same in a partner. You’re not likely to embark on a romantic carriage ride, but you could certainly make a date of an obscure museum. 

They don’t want to participate in idle chit-chat or gossip (they really hate gossip). Instead, they want to wrestle with abstract ideas and solve real-world problems. It’s exciting to them and will be for their ideal partner as well. 

INTJs value hard work and look for partners with similar values. They want someone with a clear career path and interesting, intellectual pursuits.

A compatible partner is someone who complements the INTJs analytical nature and respects their innate need for quiet time. They match well with people who can just “be” with them without needing a lot of attention, as INTJs are very cerebral and get worn down by too much social interaction. 

The good news is an INTJ will not waste your time. If an INTJ likes you, you will definitely know. That’s because they will tell you. If they don’t see a potential future early on in the dating phase, they’ll let you know that, too.

INTJ Relationship Weaknesses

Because of their aloof demeanor and logic-forward way of living, INTJs can come across as insensitive. INTJs have a bad habit of trying to solve problems with logic and reason instead of offering the emotional support their partner’s needs.  They’re also not known for healthy emotional expression (have you heard of the INTJ death stare?). It isn’t for lack of care, but partners of INTJs can often interpret this behavior as not caring enough. 

INTJs have to work on being more conscious of their partners’ feelings and emotional needs. 

Additionally, INTJs don’t like to be wrong and will argue tirelessly to that end. This is not a great trait in relationships. Similarly, the drive they show in their professional life to be the best and constantly improve does not always translate well in their personal lives. They can come across as know-it-alls and self-absorbed.

Sometimes INTJs get so wrapped up in the thrill of the debate that they wind up coming across as arrogant and superior. This dynamic in a romantic relationship does not work. If an INTJ’s girlfriend or boyfriend has similar tendencies, watch out! There’s likely a head-on collision coming. 

INTJ Best Match: 3 Most Compatible Myers-Briggs Types for INTJs 

The most compatible personality types for INTJs are ENTJs, ENTPs, and ENFPs. INTJs need partners who can balance them out. 

These personality types work well with INTJs because they’re all deeply intellectual. They’re also most likely to take an interest in an INTJ’s professional endeavors and less likely to take an INTJs dedication to work personally. 

Let’s face it. INTJs are a little awkward and quirky in romantic relationships. The best INTJ match will be partners who get that about them. 

Are ENTJs the Best INTJ Match?

INTJs and ENTJs have the potential to work well in a relationship as they’re both career-driven and see the world through a mostly logical lens. Translation? They aren’t emotional people. Both personalities seek a deep intellectual connection in a potential partner. 

However, trouble can arise between these two, especially if the ENTJ becomes overbearing or attempt to impose their ideas onto their more introverted partners. 

Are ENFPs the Best INTJ Match?

ENFPs and INTJs work surprisingly well together in a relationship, making them a prime contender for an INTJ best match. They’re both intuitive thinkers with a bent toward creativity. Additionally, both personalities are “big picture thinkers” who are driven by intellectual challenges. 

ENFPs tend to have a robust social life. Their INTJ partners are not likely to tag along to most social outings, which ends up working well for both. INTJs get their desired alone time, and ENFPs are happy to get their social fill solo. However, this can become a point of tension if the pair doesn’t learn to strike a balance. 

Are ENTPs the Best INTJ Match?

Another contender for INTJ best match is the ENTP personality type. They’re both thinking personalities who prefer to view the world through a mostly logical lens. ENTPs are very creative and love to wrestle with complex concepts and ideas.

However, ENTPs are much more social and easy-going than INTJs which can cause conflict in the relationship. ENTPs are far less rigid in their day-to-day schedules and enjoy seeking out new experiences. In many ways, this can be good for their INTJ partners as it helps bring them out of their shells. It can also be a point of conflict as some ENTPs abhor routines which are often the foundation of INTJ life.

Are INTJs Good Lovers?

If there’s an INTJ who’s caught your eye, you might be wondering what to expect in the bedroom. Obviously, all people are different, but there are things you might anticipate from your INTJ lover based on their personality.

When it comes to sex, INTJs tend to exist on either end of extremes. Either they find sex a bit perfunctory or they are extremely passionate. Some INTJs take a logical approach to sex which can translate to a very emotionally detached experience.

However, an INTJ best match will likely find a more willing intimate partner. INTJs reserve their most deeply passionate sexual energy for romantic partners. In fact, many INTJs struggle to enjoy sex absent an emotional connection. Casual sex is largely viewed as unfulfilling and a waste of time.

INTJ and Breakups

Sometimes things don’t work, even with an INTJ best match with lots of promise. INTJs move on relatively quickly when something doesn’t work that’s in its early stages. However, when it comes to more long-term relationships, it’s a bit more complicated.

True to their nature, INTJs approach relationship problems from a place of logic and reasoning, which is not always effective in matters of the heart.

If an INTJ breaks up with someone, it may appear abrupt and cold to their partner. This is because INTJs do most of the wrestling with whether or not to stay in the relationship inside their own heads. By the time they talk to their partners about it, they’ve already made up their mind.

On the flip side, if an INTJ is dumped, they struggle to let it go and move on. Their logical side insists on understanding the reason. They want to analyze what went wrong and how they could’ve done things differently.

INTJs will often retreat into their work and inner worlds post-breakup. This gives the space and time they need to fully process the end of the relationship.

INTJ Best Match: Final Thoughts

Whether you’re an INTJ looking for love or someone interested in catching the eye of an INTJ, compatibility is key. Understanding INTJ’s passion for intellectual, deeper connections, schedules, hard work, and alone time is a great place to start. INTJs need partners who can accept them as they are and won’t push them too hard toward activities and events they don’t enjoy.

Emotional, overly romantic types don’t do well with INTJs. They need someone who shares their interests and is okay with their awkward relationship style.

INTJ Best Match FAQs