INFJs are not known for aggression or anger. In fact, they’re generally quiet, reserved individuals with strong ideals and a passion for noble causes.
It’s not that they’re pushovers, but INFJs prefer peace. In fact, one of their strong suits is the ability to resolve conflicts peacefully in order to maintain a sense of harmony and balance around them.
This is exactly why you don’t want to make them angry.
INFJs have a tendency to repress their anger so that cooler heads may prevail. So when that anger gets unleashed, watch out!
- What is INFJ rage?
- What does INFJ rage look like?
- What triggers INFJ rage?
- Can INFJs be short-tempered?
- Do INFJs get frustrated easily?
- Are INFJs passive-aggressive?
- How do you calm down an INFJ?
- What happens when you hurt an INFJ?
What is INFJ rage?
INFJ rage is the emotional breaking point of someone with an INFJ personality. Generally speaking, INFJs swallow their anger and bring it inward. Remember, they’re most comfortable with peace and balance.
Anger is obviously very disruptive to their sense of self, so they’ll process their anger privately. INFJ rage is what happens when someone has reached their limit and feels they must unleash their pent-up anger at once.
Good luck to the person on the receiving end.
What does INFJ rage look like?
INFJ rage can be best described as an intense, fiery explosion. INFJs have strong emotions and their way of coping is to repress them until they’re ready to explode. When that time comes, there’s no holding back.
This rage may be expressed physically through violence or yelling, or it may be more psychological, like “door-slamming.”
Door-slamming refers to when a person abruptly cuts another person off. What makes the INFJ door slam so painful is that you rarely see it coming.
You see, an INFJ might not express their anger with you openly, but please believe they are bubbling beneath the surface. If you lack self-awareness or the ability to read people, it’s possible you miss all early warnings signs and don’t “get it” until it’s too late and the door has been shut for good.
INFJs are patient, forgiving souls – until they aren’t.
INFJ Rage Examples
One thing about INFJs, if you intentionally hurt them or trigger them past their breaking point, they will make you regret it.
Some known expressions that are sure signs that someone is experiencing INFJ rage include:
- Stonewalling or refusing to engage in conversation.
- Extremely strong, biting sarcasm. They know where to aim their verbal jabs and will do so with expert precision.
- Fierce coldness and lack of emotion (almost like a robot). In many cases, INFJ rage looks like cutting you off and never speaking to you again, regardless of your history together.
- Shutting down emotionally and becoming totally unresponsive (especially if the person is normally extremely responsive).
- Yelling, fighting, or damaging property.
There’s no singular expression of INFJ rage. The common thread is that the behavior is in opposition to how the person normally behaves. It’s like they’ve snapped.
What triggers INFJ rage?
INFJs are conflict-avoidant, especially if they’re forced to moderate their own emotions. While INFJs may be passionate about peace and harmony in the lives of others, it’s difficult for them to find that inner peace themselves when their limits are reached. They’re very much accustomed to pushing those feelings down.
This means that the INFJ has been suppressing their anger for a long time. It’s probably been building up, which makes it all the more intense once they do unleash it.
The following are some common triggers of INFJ rage:
Criticism or disrespect
This is an instant trigger. People with the INFJ personality type are straight-shooters, and they don’t like to sugarcoat things. They expect the same from others, so when someone comes in with a critical tone or straight-up disrespect, all bets are off. They’ll likely bury perceived insults in the beginning, but eventually, they’ll reach their breaking point with you.
Not being able to help or seeing injustice
This one is huge. INFJs are problem solvers, strategists, and advisers. That’s their role in life is to help others find peace and harmony. When they experience situations they can’t help fix or witness injustice against others, they can become extremely angry and stressed.
Once again, INFJs are conflict-avoidant (to a degree) and they hate unresolved tension. If you know something is up, mend the fence before it becomes too late. Otherwise, you may get door-slammed before you even know there was a serious problem.
Relatedly, they don’t like trouble-makers or drama queens. If they see you as someone who is there to cause conflict, they will not tolerate you.
INFJs need their space once in a while, but when someone decides to ignore them for extended periods of time without any communication whatsoever, they internalize that behavior to mean something is wrong with them. Cutting someone off becomes a necessary defense mechanism.
Not being understood
INFJs are some of the most gentle and caring souls out there, but they’re also very sensitive. They need to feel like people know them for who they truly are and understand their intentions, not assumptions or misconceived notions. When someone doesn’t “get” the INFJ, this is a trigger for shutting down.
Can INFJs be short-tempered?
Technically anyone can be short-tempered, but it’s not a typical trait for INFJs. In fact, they are usually the opposite. INFJs tend to push down their anger in order to maintain peace around them.
Do INFJs get frustrated easily?
INFJs are naturally sensitive, so they can get easily frustrated. However, they don’t like to express their frustration outwardly. When an INFJ becomes visibly frustrated, chances are the emotion has been brewing beneath the surface for some time.
Are INFJs passive-aggressive?
Definitely! INFJs are very passive-aggressive. If they don’t care to talk to you anymore for whatever reason, they will tell you through action rather than words. Don’t be surprised if an INFJ stops answering texts or only responds every few days. They’re likely trying to give you the hint that they want some distance.
How do you calm down an INFJ?
If you’re dealing with someone who has snapped, the best thing to do is give them space and time to cool down.
Do not attempt to engage them in a conversation when they are angry because that could lead to all-out INFJ rage. In fact, try not to even mention their rage or anger when they have just been triggered. Wait for the storm to pass.
One of the best things you can do is acknowledge that they are angry and talk about it later when they’re in a better state of mind. INFJs will appreciate this non-judgmental approach to dealing with their rage.
Give them time alone if possible, even if you know they’ll want to talk after cooling down. They need time to process what has happened and put their own thoughts in order before discussing it further. Remember that they are very sensitive, so you don’t want to be overly critical or challenging of whatever is making them angry.
In the end, try to make an INFJ feel validated. If they know you understand them and their feelings, they will feel like a weight has been lifted off of them.
That being said, there is one caveat. If you are the reason and INFJ is in a rage, don’t be surprised if the lines of communication are cut off. It may take a long time for them to entertain the idea of talking to you again.
What happens when you hurt an INFJ?
INFJs never forget. If they feel like you’ve betrayed or hurt them, don’t be surprised if it takes a long time for them to come around. They need to contemplate the situation before they can truly forgive you. Let them do their thing and leave them alone until they’re ready to open up again.
INFJ Rage: Bottom Line
INFJs rarely show their angry side, so if you see an INFJ explode, know that they’re releasing a lot of pent up anger and frustration. Give them space and let them work themselves out. Then be sure to remain on their good side.