“Door slamming” is a psychological term used to describe the act of withdrawing or cutting off communication with someone abruptly and completely. It’s often seen as a way of punishing or retaliating against someone and can leave the other person feeling isolated, angry, and rejected.
For those on the receiving end of a door slam, it can be really disorienting. One unsuspecting personality type that is infamous for door slams is the INFJ.
Let’s jump into why.
What is the INFJ dark side?
INFJs have a dark side that can manifest as door slamming. This usually happens when they feel overwhelmed or stressed and they don’t have any other way to cope. They may feel like they’re constantly walking on eggshells and that their needs are being ignored. When they reach their limit, they’ll shut everyone out completely as a way of punishing them.
How do you tell if an INFJ hates you?
There are a few key signs that an INFJ hates you. They may start avoiding you, stop responding to your texts or emails, or completely cut off communication. They may also give you the silent treatment or act cold and distant. If you’re seeing any of these signs, it’s best to back off and give them some space.
Do all INFJs slam doors?
No, not all INFJs will door slam. It’s important to remember that this is only a tendency and not everyone will act on it. If you’re close to an INFJ and they start exhibiting these signs, it’s important to be understanding and patient.
Try not to push them too hard or take their behavior personally. Let them know that you’re there for them and be understanding if they need to take some time to themselves.
What causes an INFJ door slam?
There can be a number of reasons why INFJs might door slam. Here are some of the most common:
1. They feel overwhelmed and stressed.
2. They feel like their needs are always ignored.
3. They’re feeling resentful or angry.
4. They’re using it as a way to punish or retaliate against someone.
5. They’re feeling unsupported or misunderstood.
6. They’re struggling with their own mental health issues.
7. They’re going through a tough time and don’t have any other way to cope.
Sometimes it’s a mixture of several things. INFJs are not monoliths and the reasons behind door slamming are often deeply personal. That being said, it’s worth knowing some common signs that a door slam is on the horizon so you can defuse the situation before it goes nuclear.
Signs an INFJ is about to door slam you.
There are a few key signs that an INFJ is about to door slam you. Here are some of the most common:
- They start avoiding you or stop responding to your texts or emails.
- They give you the silent treatment or act cold and distant.
- Their vibe is noticeably off and icy.
- They stop sharing things with you.
- You’ve had several falling outs.
- They gradually withdraw from you.
This is by no means an exhaustive list, but it’s a common thread heard from INFJs who have door slammed another person.
How does an INFJ door slam feel?
For the person on the receiving end, an INFJ door slam feels like a cold slap in the face. It can come out of nowhere and leave you feeling confused, hurt, and rejected. You may feel like you’re being shut out of their life completely and that you’ll never be able to repair the damage.
Depending on the circumstance, a door slam can feel outright devastating. It can also be a wake-up call for the more aloof recipient who ignored the preceding signs.
What happens after an INFJ door slam?
After an INFJ door slam, the aftermath can be really messy. The relationship may never recover or it may take a long time for things to go back to normal. If the door slam was done in retaliation against someone, it’s likely that there will be a lot of anger and resentment on both sides.
It’s important to remember that an INFJ door slam, at its core, is a coping mechanism for a personality type that is normally adverse to confrontation. If you can be understanding and patient during this time, it will go a long way in repairing the relationship.
If things have gone too far, however, it may be best to just walk away.
Can you come back from an INFJ door slam?
In some cases, yes, it is possible to come back from an INFJ door slam. However, it will take a lot of effort and understanding on both sides. The relationship will likely never be the same again, but if you can work through the underlying issues that caused the door slam in the first place, there’s a chance for things to eventually improve.
How do you apologize to an INFJ?
The best way to apologize to an INFJ is by acknowledging their feelings and taking responsibility for your actions. Try to be understanding and patient, and don’t push them too hard. Let them know that you’re there for them if they need to talk.
If the door slam was done in retaliation against someone, it’s important to apologize for your role in the altercation. Take ownership of your actions and be willing to make amends.
If you’re not sure what to say, a simple “I’m sorry” will suffice.
Do other MBTI types have an equivalent to the INFJ door slam?
Yes, other MBTI types have an equivalent to the INFJ door slam. INTJs and ISTJs, for example, are more likely to use blunt force tactics like ignoring the other person or giving them the silent treatment. ENFJs and ESFJs may use emotional manipulation or withdraw their support as a way of punishing someone.
At the end of the day, we all have our defense mechanisms. Understanding them is the key to moving past them.